RIP Power SURGE

Back when BTW was only a glimmer in Smasher's eye and an archive of questionably entertaining iChats, four friends gathered to celebrate an empty house and the near death of one of their own (Meghangolian herself had been stranded roadside due to a snowy car accident and had only barely escaped the cannibalistic tendencies of the locals). It was there I reconnected with the dirty bass line and the dirty dirty man himself, Power SURGE. The weekend was a success. I left hungover, bruised, and yet hopeful for the future of my friendship with SURGE. 

However, it is with a heavy heart, that today BTW takes a moment to step back from the daily lambaste of Baum to announce that the beloved Power SURGE has left us all for a better place. OH the humanity! Will I really never hear him sing "Mandy" ever again? His premature (wait for it...) departure leaves us saddened, though it is a comfort to know he is now dancing with ponies and Hello Kitty dolls like he has always wanted to. He leaves behind a large fan base of adoring 13 year old girls, a song book to rival that of Barry Manilow, and  a cache of semi-precious stones. 

In lieu of flowers, please send illegal substances to Smasher. 

Oh SURGE, we barely knew ye. 

Wait, hold on. I hear the conch shell blowing. Something is amiss.

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My apologies, it appears that Power SURGE is not in fact dead, but the "better place" is instead a place in China I have never heard of. WTF, SURGE? I just wasted this whole time writing about you when I could have been making up witty turns of phrase about Baum?! This is worst than the time I had to listen to Baum discuss the intricacies of Argentinian wine for a whole night. SURGE, I am disappointed. The phrase "going away party" is misleading. May you be trampled by a herd of oxen, I hear they are all the rage this year. 

So, in conclusion, just as Marco Polo did 788 years ago, SURGE has ventured to the Far East to seek his fortune and hopefully a tiny non-English speaking bride. And while he will still have to wait to frolic with the ponies, at least for now he'll have Hello Kitty.