Hawk & Smasher Reminisce

… About the antics of the previous weekend. Not until Tuesday of course… Monday is too soon. All quotations in the first part of this dialogue are references to “Really, It’s the Booze Talking” by Glenn Eichler posted on 12/22/08 in the Proof, Alcohol & American life section of the New York Times Opinion blog. The article is hilarious.

AIM IM with HAWK 1/13/09 2:41 PM

Hawk: “Sometimes accidental electrocution can be a blessing in disguise, but try telling that to the other mothers in the playgroup.”
Hawk: http://proof.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/12/22/really-its-the-booze-talking/#more-43
Smasher: …with the exchange rate and my gambling addiction
Smasher: I am laughing so loud right now
Hawk: AGH HAHAHAHAA
Smasher: “I could be further up the ladder, but I won’t play their corporate games. Men’s Room, Women’s Room — too many rules.”
Hawk: hahaha
Smasher: You need to post an article about your next day waking up on the couch and the trip to VT
Smasher: Can u do that?
Hawk: I don’t remember enough
Smasher: You have to, you agreed when I started this thing
Hawk: Where should it start?
Smasher: Waking up after snoring with your eyes open on the couch and staying up all night
Smasher: You must have felt like fucking shit
Smasher: I almost didn't answer but I am too scared of your girlfriend
Hawk: Answer what? The phone?
Smasher: Yeah, yours must have been dead
Smasher: Then she decided to call me
Hawk: My phone wasn’t dead- I was
Smasher: No, we checked, your chest was moving violently as you breathed air.
Hawk: HAHAH
Smasher: We had to put a finger under sketchy girl’s nose to see if she was breathing… deathly quiet sleeper
Hawk: Dear lord
Smasher: Quite a contrast from the conscious one
Smasher: At one point I tried to tickle your balls with a Yankees memorabilia baseball bat but her foot was draped over your leg and she started wiggling her foot.
Smasher: Needless to say that got quite the reaction
Hawk: hahaa
Hawk: Jesus
Smasher: When did u finally get to VT?
Hawk: 1AM
Smasher: No shit!
Hawk: Drank heavily until 4
Smasher: Talk about the trail of tears
Hawk: Woke up at 7
Smasher: Did u even ski?
Hawk: Skied all day
Smasher: Speaking of trails, did you vomit on the on them?
Hawk: No it was mostly just bloody boogers and three-foot long snot ropes
Smasher: I hate it when that happens
Hawk: I had to blow my nose like 1000 times
Smasher: Then you choke some back accidentally
Hawk: There were little creatures living in there
Hawk: Oh god its like a new buzz
Smasher: Little nose lampreys
Smasher: It's the only thing that makes it tolerable…
Smasher: That and getting blowjobs
Smasher: Actually Hawk, never mind about writing something. I guess I can just post this conversation.
Smasher: Names changed of course...
Smasher: Cause our friends Ahmed and Heinrich are too scared they would get fired from Wall Street if I used their real names, which I even changed [here too].
Hawk: Ahmed and Heinrich, huh
Smasher: Muslim and Nazi
Smasher: Inappropriate?
Hawk: No
Hawk:Not at all
Hawk: Are they on the site though?
Smasher: No I had to take them down, I told Gestapo never to call my cell phone ever again
Hawk: Did he call you when he saw the site?
Smasher: I told the desert one that if I didn't get every single one of those t-shirts it would go back up
Hawk: Haha
Hawk: I can’t wait for those
Smasher: They texted and called in a fit of paranoia
Hawk: I bet
Smasher: It's not even close to as bad as their facebook profiles, especially Euphrates swimmer.
Hawk: I think facebook may be off limits though at work
Smasher: There are always ways around that
Hawk: For some reason
Smasher: Not even close, they make interns research dirt
Smasher: The original post I had totally missed half of the texting conversation I had on my way down too
Hawk: I heard Skinny Boy’s brother in law had to explain a photo of himself at the pool- he was holding his suit open in front and pouring a beer down his crotch
Hawk: In hysterical laughter
Smasher: Burn dude. At the end of the day who gives a fuck?
Smasher: I would totally hire that guy. What was his explanation?
Hawk: Yeah me too
Hawk: He was at his last round of interviews and totally qualified but the interviewer slapped a folder of all his bad pics on the desk and asked him to explain every one of them.
Hawk: Then he was asked to leave
Hawk: Super harsh
Smasher: Jesus. What dicks.... Where was it?
Smasher: It's not like you're running for public office… unless he was?
Hawk: Yeah i know
Smasher: I mean if Madoff can get bail…
Hawk: Yeah what the fuck
Hawk: Thats just the way it is though...
Smasher: That's why I don't have a job like that
Hawk: Yep
Smasher: Alright, speaking of those, back to work brah
Hawk: Dude lampreys are so gross
Smasher: Not Zane Lamprey, he's a golden god
Hawk: Yes he is
Smasher: Check you later
Hawk: Later